Sex Dreams
by DementedDiva2006
Summary: When I lay in bed I touch myself and think of you. Inspired by the Lady Gaga song Sex Dreams. Can Harley keep her feelings for the Joker to herself or will they take over completely?
1. Day Dreams

Knock, knock, knock.

'Oh god, that can't be him. I'm not even ready yet.' Harley thought to herself.

"Just a minute!" she yelled towards her front door. A low chuckle was the only response.

'Why is he so early? Doesn't he know a lady needs time to get ready.'

Continuing to run around her apartment Harley got her toothbrush from the bathroom. She began brushing while going into her bedroom to put on a necklace and earrings. She was defiantly flustered, not only because her date was waiting outside her door, but because it was their first official date. As she ran back to the bathroom she noticed a note had been slipped under the front door. She walked up to it slowly as if it might blow up, picked it up, and unfolded it.

"You know I don't like to be kept waiting…" was all it said. In a panic Harley opened the door. Nobody was there.

Her heart sank. He just left? There was no way he would just go; he'd only been out there a few minutes. This couldn't be happening.

Tears began to rim Harley's eyes. She had ruined everything because she was too rude to just let him in. She just wanted everything to be perfect and now she'd be spending Valentine's Day all alone just because she wasn't ready when her date got there.

"I'm so stupid" she said as she walked back to her bedroom.

When she opened the door she saw flowers and a note on her bed.

Once again she walked to the gifts carefully. First she smelled the flowers and then picked up the note.

"Which is why I like to take matters into my own hands…"

"What does that mean?"

A pair of hands suddenly grabbed Harley from behind and turned her around.

Everything happened to fast there was no time to scream; her mouth was met with a crushing kiss.

It only took a few seconds for Harley to register what was happening and who it was. Once she did she relaxed and smiled.

The kiss broke and now Harley's eyes were filled with tears of joy.

"I thought you left me. I'm sorry I kept you waiting."  
"Awe sweetheart, you didn't have to go through so much trouble to get ready. I didn't plan on having you in clothes for long anyway."

"Oh Mistah J."

They began to kiss again, falling onto the bed.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

"Dr. Quinzel, are you in there?"

Dr. Harleen Quinzel awoke with a start. She was short of breath and her cheeks were flushed from the dream she had just had.

'Why is he in my head like this? It's not right.'

Another loud knock at the door brought her further back into reality. Looking at the clock she saw she was already ten minutes late for her next session; her session with the Joker.

"Yes, I'm here" she answered as she went to unlock and open the door.

Dr. Leland stood with her arms crossed. She looked at her watch and then at Harleen.

"You're late."

"I know. I was just getting some of my notes in order. You know how I like to be extra prepared for the Joker. I must have lost track of time."

"Well, he's in room 12 waiting for you. I suggest you get a move on" Joan said before walking away.

'Bitch' Harleen thought.

The Dr. now walked quickly through the halls of Arkham Asylum trying to gather her thoughts. Why did she have to have such an erotic dream right before her session and even worse about the same patient she was about to treat.

Turning the corner to room 12 she saw the armed guard standing outside.

The guard saw her coming and offered her a smile.

"Good evening Dr. He's all ready for you."

"Thank you John, but you know how I feel about not being here before my patient. Next time maybe you could please wait for me, alright?"

"Sure, sure. No problem" he said dismissively.

Rolling her eyes with a pout Harleen took out her hospital ID badge and held it up to the reader; the little light turned green and she let out a little breath she didn't realize she was holding.

'Here goes nothin' she thought.

There he sat, staring out into space until she took the first step in through the threshold. His head suddenly snapped to look right at her, almost making eye contact. A shiver went through Harleen's body. They had been having sessions together for six months now and while each time was supposed to get easier, it was getting more complicated. The more Harleen learned of the Joker the more intrigued she became. It was obvious from the dream she was just having that things were getting personal.

"Hey there sweetheart, I was beginning to think you stood me up. Or given up" he said with a smile.

Without saying a word Harleen took her seat across the table from The Joker and set up her notepad and tape recorder. She acted like she hadn't heard him; she could not let him get the first words in today, not after what had just happened in her head.

Hitting the record button on the recorder she began to speak "Thursday the 13th of February. This is Dr. Harleen Quinzel sitting in with Patient 4479, aka The Joker, aka Mr. J. How are you feeling today Mr. J?"

Joker shook his head, "Awe sweetheart, still such formalities. I really thought we were moving past all this small talk. If you must know, I'm feeling a little quiet now. I was all set and ready to talk at 4 o'clock, when we were supposed to meet, but now it's almost 4:30 and I'm over it."

'Oh the mind games, he really is so childlike in most ways. Good thing I know how to keep up.'

"I apologize for my lateness. It was rude to keep you waiting. If you do not feel like continuing with the session we can resume at our next appointment if you'd like." Harleen said with a smirk.

This made the Joker turn in his chair a bit. His expression changed from one of playfulness to anger.

"Oh doc, you really are something. We both know it doesn't work like that. I would have thought you'd learn by now not to talk down to me like a fool. I know all about how this place works and I know as well as you do that unless I do something harmful to you we aren't going anywhere for the next 45 minutes. So, and I never thought I'd say this, but let's cut the games and talk. Alright?"

He really was smart, even for a convicted psychopathic criminal; she knew this from their first meeting together. On more than one occasion he has left Harleen questioning if he even belonged in here. Sure his views on the world weren't the same as most people's, but did that mean they were wrong? What if everyone thought the way Joker did? The world would be a different place and the people who enjoyed a non-violent, calm, and sane environment would be the ones locked up behind bars. If everyone were more like the Joker, maybe the world would be a little less tense and enjoyable.

They sat in silence for what seemed like hours while Harleen got lost in her train of thought.

"Yoo hoo sweetheart, we're not getting any saner here."

"Sorry" was all she could say as she snapped herself back to the present situation.

"You seem distracted today doc. Wanna talk about it?" Joker said with a smile.

"No, thank you."

"Have it your way. Anyhoo, since you are in your own world I guess I'll just carry the session along. Any plans for tomorrow? You said today was February 13th, that means tomorrow is the bullshit Hallmark holiday that makes men feel inferior to actors in stupid romance movies. Are you distracted because you're planning out how to spend such a 'special' day? Do you have a Valentine Harley?"

Harley blushed in spite of herself. She couldn't help it when he said her nickname like that.

Shaking her head clear she responded "Is that all you think Valentine's Day is about?"

Joker noticed how quick she moved the topic from herself; he chose to ignore it for now.

"Of course it is! It's one of the biggest unnoticed crimes out there! Can't you see it?"

"Maybe you could explain it to me."

Joker sighed. "It truly is one of the greatest brainwashing tools I've ever seen. I wish I would have come up with it. Take a sinister plan, glue some sparkly red hearts on it, and suddenly it's Holiday!"

"And what's the point of it? What's to gain from this 'brainwashing'?"

"Money. Power. Control. Think about it. What is this Holiday really about doc?"

Harley though for a minute "It's about expressing love for another person in your life, to show them how thankful you are they are around you."

"And that's what they want you to believe! But anyone who thinks they know about love should know that it shouldn't only be on this one day. Yet year after year women cry and bitch about how their deadbeat husbands or boyfriends or fuck buddies forgot to send them a card, or buy them candy, or send them flowers that they don't even really want. Society has accepted this day as one to spend hard earned money on frivolous things that don't mean anything! Companies make billions of dollars off these poor suckers who have no choice but to submit to this idea that things equal love. Fools."

"So are you against love or just Valentine's Day in general?"  
"Are you trying to ask me about my love life, doc?"

"Well, since you brought it up, perhaps you'd like to talk about any special women who have been in your life. Or… men, who am I to assume?"

She knew that wasn't the professional thing to say and there was no way of telling how he'd react, but this had become their game. Joker would push her buttons and she would push right back. Most of Harley's peers had called her a quack for her outlandish ways of dealing with Gotham's most notorious and dangerous criminal; they knew nothing. The progress that was made to get to this point was leaps and bounds from their first session. While the conversations and tactics where nothing like she'd studied, it was working. Joker would let his guard down at times to revile key information that could ultimately lead to his being sane. Harley had to believe this was the goal of his therapy; otherwise her whole reason for coming to Arkham was a lie.

"Only interested in women my dear, sorry to burst your bubble of perversion. But maybe you could answer my question now… Do you have a Valentine?"

"You know I'm not going to tell you things like that Mr. J. No matter how many times you try" Harley replied with another blush.

"That means no."

"No, it does not!"

"So you do?"

"I, I'm not having this discussion with you Mr. J"

Joker shook his head with a smile "It's a no" before Harleen could interrupt he continued. "Shame toots, you're not too bad to look at. Hell if I wasn't in here I might even try to win you over with overpriced crap."

"Really?"

Only when the Joker cocked his head did Harley realize she said that out loud.


	2. What If I

She bit her lip. That was not the right thing to say, he shouldn't have heard that. This was not good, he could never find out about the dream, all the dreams she'd been having about him. Oh God, how was she going to explain this?

"Jeez Harley, you really must be hard up in the dating game if you'd get that excited over lil ol me. Not that I blame you, I'm a catch."  
She needed to get back in control of her session.

"This is not an appropriate conversation. We need to get back on track. I want to know…"

"No, no, no, my dear. The way I see it, I've been driving this bus today, so why not let that continue. You never open up to me and here I am supposed to spill all my secrets to you and for what? So you can analyze me, fix me so I can see the error of my ways. What if I'm not really the bad guy, Harley?"

Her lack of response allowed him to continue.

"There are too many people in the world who settle for what society has told them is the right way to live. These people think they are happy, but on the inside they are all just scared. Too afraid to let their deepest darkest feelings show through. Instead of being free to do anything and everything they want they allow others to dictate how they can and can't behave. It's not natural. We are the only animals in this world that allow such laws to exist; you don't see many lions in therapy after they kill an innocent zebra do ya doc?"

Harley giggled at that image.

"It's a shame you live they 'their' rules too Harley; such a waste of talent. Sure you pushed the envelope with some of your strategies in our sessions, but when I tell you what I want, what I need from you in order to open up, you back away. Is it because you really don't want to or because 'they' have told you it's not allowed. Or are you so afraid to open up to me because you might find out things about yourself you won't be able to handle."

"I'm not sure what you mean by that Mr. J."  
"I think you do. You are different than most people Harley; I saw that in you by the end of our first meeting together. You actually listen to me when I speak and call me crazy, but sometimes I can see you contemplating that maybe I'm not as insane as they all have made me appear. Funny thing is sometimes I look at you and I can see that you're not as 'sane' as they believe you are."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Harleen hit the stop button on the tape recorder.

It was becoming too much, too personal. This had to end.

"Awe sweetheart, that was a compliment. No need to get all worked up."  
"Just stop! Stop talking! This session is over. Thank you Mr. J." She gathered up her things and walked to the exit.

Before she could get the door open Joker had one last thing to say.

"No, thank you Harley. Hope you have a good Valentine's Day."

She couldn't get out of the room fast enough. She practically slammed the door shut behind her.

"We're done for today, you can bring him back to his cell now" Harleen said to the guard quickly so she made her way back to her office.

Later that night Harley was back at her apartment eating Chinese food and watching the local news. Actually, watching wasn't the right word it served more as background noise. She was still so shook up by her session with the Joker this afternoon. He was always so in tune with everything around him; it really was a wonder how he ended up a criminal. Harley was sure if he was just like everyone else he could have been a physiatrist; he was able to read people so easily.

She couldn't get the last thing he said out of her head. He actually believed she was the one who was crazy. How dare he suggest such a thing! There was no way that could be true. Sure, Harley never felt like she fit in with anyone else around her. Even her co-workers at Arkham distanced themselves from her. And maybe she did try to see things the way Joker did; maybe she even agreed with some of his views. That didn't make her insane, did it?

Looking at the clock she saw it was midnight, a new day. Valentine's day.

Harley sighed. She really had been flattered when Mr. J told her he would have tried to court her if he wasn't locked up in Arkham. It was obvious from his constant appearances in her dreams that she was beginning to develop feelings for the clown. Not that it mattered, he was a criminal and she was a doctor. Nothing could ever happen between them in real life.

"Well at least I have my dreams."

Turning off the TV in a daze she didn't even hear when the reporter started talking about a break out at the asylum. She got into bed and tried to find a comfortable position. Tossing and turning she could not find sleep, her brain was too full from the events of the day. Her mind kept wondering off to the dream she had this afternoon and she started to feel herself get excited. Images of her and the Joker being intimate were suddenly all the consumed her thoughts. Slowly her hand made its way between her legs as she started to touch herself at the thoughts.

"Oh Mistah J, you're the only one who understands me" she said out loud just above a whisper.

As soon as the words left her mouth she stopped what she was doing.

'This is crazy Harls, snap out of it! You are _not_ in love with the Joker; you cannot allow yourself to get off on thoughts of him. You are not insane!' This internal struggle was making her crazy; she got up to take a cold shower.

Outside of her bedroom window stood the Joker. He'd been watching her all night and was finally getting the show he'd hoped he would.

'So my little Harlequin does have feelings for me' he thought smirking to himself.

He continued to watch her and couldn't believe she stopped. She hadn't even allowed herself the satisfaction to finish; basic animal instinct is self gratification. He was going to help this girl.

Harley walked back to her room after her shower wearing her bathrobe with her hair in a towel. She was still feeling a little on edge, but overall much better now. Walking over to her dresser she got the feeling that something wasn't quite right in her room. Turning toward the window she saw that it was slightly open causing the cool February air to creep in.

"I don't remember opening that" she shrugged it off walking over to close the window. Before she could turn back around she was grabbed from behind by a pair of strong arms. A hand quickly made its way to her mouth before she could scream; the other wrapped itself around her waist and pulled her to the wall opposite the window.

Harley struggled against her attacker trying desperately to break the grasp.

"Easy there sweetheart, there's no need to resist. I'm not going to hurt you" Joker whispered in her ear.


	3. Getting Personal

She froze. No. No, no, no, no, this couldn't be happening. How did he get here? How long had he been in her house? Oh god, what had he seen?

"Good girl. Now If you promise to stay quiet I'll loosen up a little bit, alright?"

How was she going to get out of this? Her phone was in the other room and if she screamed he'd surely kill her before anyone would be able to get there. She had no choice but to listen to him.

She nodded her head trying to fight back her tears.

Joker smiled and guided Harley the bed. He kept his hand over her mouth as she sat down. The look of fear in her eyes was intoxicating. It was a different kind of look than when they had therapy together. Here he had all the power and she didn't have the guards, or restraints, or her stupid panic button to convince her otherwise.

Joker slowly removed his hand from her mouth, but the look he gave her made it clear that if she made a sound she would instantly regret it.

"So, nice place you got here. A little smaller than I pictured it, but I'm pleasantly surprised by the sever lack of cats I thought you'd be hoarding" he said with a chuckle.

Harley's head was spinning. This was too much for her; why wasn't be just killing her and getting it over with? Why did he have to come to her home and make fun of her first; what kind of game was this?

"What's wrong my dear, not feeling like talking tonight? From what I saw through your window just a few minutes ago I'd thought you'd be thrilled to see me."

'Oh no, he did see me' Harley thought as she sobbed out loud.

"I don't know what you're…"

"DON'T LIE TO ME HARLEY! You know _EXACTLY_ what I'm talking about, don't you?"

Harley shrank back as he yelled at her. Joker grabbed her shoulders and got right into her face.

"Don't you?" he said quietly.

"Yes." She whispered.

"Thought so."

Joker regained his composer.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of you know. Everybody does it, although most people finish. But not you. Why?"

She couldn't believe he wanted her to talk about this, it was private.

"Please, don't. I can't."

"Why 'can't' you?"

"It's private, personal." Tears were falling down her cheeks now.

"But doc, isn't it important to disclose personal information? Isn't that the key to the road of recovery? That's what you all say back to the funhouse, isn't it?"

"That's different. I'm not crazy!" She said that a little louder than she meant to. Surprisingly Joker did not get angry. In fact he was smiling.

"I'd never call you crazy my sweet. In fact, I think you are the complete opposite. That's why I need you to talk to me. I meant what I said about you being different Harley. I think that deep down inside of you is a lost little girl who needs to be freed. Someone you've been told your whole life needed to stay hidden. You weren't born to listen to what 'they' had to say."

Harley let out a breath. He was making sense again; how could she not listen, especially when he was in her house like this.

"Which is why, you're going to finish what you started before. You owe it to yourself to let go a little."

What the hell did that mean? There was no way he meant…

"No! I couldn't, it's not right. I can't just"

"Why are you so negative? What's not right about it? Harley, I've seen the way you look at me. I heard you tonight; you can't lie to me about this. Why deny yourself the pleasure? And look, I'm right here for you to look at, no need to use your imagination."  
"There's no way I'm going to do this."

Quick as a flash Joker pushed her down onto the bed. He straddled her as he took a knife out of his pocket and held it up to her throat.

There was no holding back sobs or tears now, Harley was hysterical.

"Please don't rape me, just kill me and get it over with. I can't take this anymore."

Joker stayed still.

"I'm not a rapist. You of all people should know that from working on my case for so long. All I want is for you to learn to let go a little. Harley, look at me."

Her body was still shaking with fear, but she did as he asked.

What she saw was not what she was expecting. His eyes were strangely kind and soft despite still holding the knife inches from her face.

"Harley, I want to set you free. You said it yourself I'm the only one who understands you. I feel the same about you. You've been the only one to really listen to me, to try and see things my way. I can tell it hasn't been hard for you, because me and you are just the same. All you needed was someone to show you the right path. Don't let society hold you back anymore darling; you were born to be free."

He put his knife back in his pocket and got off of her.

She slowly made her way into a sitting position and stared at him. He really was the only person she ever felt she could relate to. He did seem to care for her too. He'd attacked all of his other therapists, hell he even killed one. He could have killed her so easily tonight, but he didn't. So he must share the same feelings as she did.

Being careful with her movements she inched closer to the Joker. She took one hand and put it on the side of his face. He stayed still as a statue and watched her closely. Moving her face to his her lips met his.

That was the opening Joker needed; grabbing her by the back of the head he pulled her closer and kissed her back aggressively.

There were so many thoughts and emotions running through Harley at the same time. She couldn't believe she was in her bed making out with Gotham's most wanted criminal, couldn't believe she was enjoying it, but most of all she couldn't believe how free she felt. While his mouth moved from her mouth to her neck she had never felt more at peace, nothing ever felt as right as this did at this moment.

She wasn't crazy and neither was he; the world was just too corrupt to see the truth. Mr. J was going to teach her everything she needed to know, everything she wanted to understand for so long.

Harley's hands moved down to Joker's belt trying to remove it.

Suddenly all Joker's movements stopped, making Harley pout.

"Why'd ya stop? Did I do something wrong?"  
"Harley, I need to know you're really ready for this. I need you to finish what you started before; it will prove to me you really want this."

There was nothing she wouldn't do right now to make him happy. Giving him a playful smile Harley moved away from him and moved her hands onto her own body.

Joker watched her, laughing lightly, but Harley knew he wasn't laughing at her. He was just expressing himself the way he was most comfortable.

"I really wish you'd play with me Mistah J…" she said playfully.

"Beg me" he replied smugly.

"Please, I've wanted this moment for so long. Please! I need you, need this."

"Well, if you need it. Who am I to say no?"

Joker pounced on Harley, it was so animalistic but still so romantic. The rest of the night was met with their screams of passion.


	4. Just Let Go

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

Harley rolled over to shut off her alarm clock. As she was waking up her mind was suddenly flooded with memories of the night before. It brought a smile to her face.

"Good morning Puddin'. Sorry if the alarm woke..." turning around she was met with an empty bed.

Confused, she looked around the room. Where did he go?

"Mistah J you out there?"  
No response.

Getting out of bed Harley put her bathrobe on and walked through the rooms of her apartment looking for the Joker.

"Puddin'?" she called out.

No response.

This wasn't right. He wouldn't just leave; not after everything they shared last night.

But upon looking further around the house she saw no evidence of him being there at all.

Was it just an elaborate dream? No, it couldn't be, everything was all too real.

"Joker this isn't funny anymore, where the hell are you?" she screamed out.

She was met with silence.

Before she knew it she was crying again; she was so confused. What happened last night felt too real, too right, to have been nothing but a dream. But there was nothing to prove to her that it wasn't. She didn't know what to believe. Had her obsession with the Joker really led her to this, to making up a romance with him where he 'freed' her? Nothing was making sense; her head felt like it was going to explode. If this wasn't enough to make her think she was in fact insane she didn't know what was. She was so crazy that her mind made the whole night up. This was more than just a normal sex dream; she convinced herself it was all real, that Joker felt love for her the way she did him.

How would she be able to face him again? He's see right through her; he would never let her live this down, but she couldn't quit. Not just like that, he needed her!

"Oh god, what am I going to do? What the hell is going on?"

Her mind had to be playing tricks on her. There was no way to know if it was real or not; being so overwhelmed she was now crying hysterically. Wanting nothing more than for the world to open up and swallow her whole she ran back to her bed and buried herself under the covers.

Joker stood outside her window once again, watching. She had been so easy to manipulate. He almost felt bad about putting her through this, but it was necessary. There had to be no doubt that she was worth his time. He had to be sure she was so far gone she would do anything to please him.

And so he watched as she cried out loud for him and waited for the perfect moment to show himself again.

After hours of sitting in her bed muttering to herself trying to figure out exactly what had happened to her Harley fell asleep. Joker was present in her dream again, only this time laughing at her.

"Oh Harley girl, you really are something. Why would I ever want you? What could you possibly have to offer me?"

"Stop it, stop saying that! NO!" Harley woke up screaming.

A noise to her left made her sit up straight. Looking over she was eye to eye with the Joker.

Being so overcome with emotion she started laughing; not a quiet laugh but full on hysterics.

Joker cocked his head to the side watching her, but didn't say anything.

"When is this dream going to end? What's the point of it all? Is it to prove that I really am crazy; fine I'll admit it, I never did feel like I belonged in the same society as everyone else. I'll admit I might have fallen in love with the Joker through our sessions; he's been the only one to see my internal struggle and not try to mask it as something else. Now please, can I just have a dreamless sleep and wake up tomorrow with everything normal? Please."

Joker took his hand and placed in softly on her cheek.

"My dear, what if this wasn't all a dream, but your dreams come true? Everything you ever wanted playing out exactly how you imagined. Would that be such a bad thing?"

"Nothing is making sense Mistah J. Everything's happening so fast, how am I supposed to believe this is real?"

"Just let go."

"What?"

"Think of it like this sweetheart, if it is a dream it's a good one right? So just let it play out and see where it goes. And if it turns out that it's all real then it's just better for you in the long run isn't it? This, right here Harley is your road to freedom. Don't worry about labeling it as anything other than your true happiness."

Harley began crying again, but she wasn't sure if they were happy tears or not. He was right as always. She would not let her own mind play tricks on her. Real or not this is what she wanted and she was going to embrace it fully.

"Promise you won't leave me again?" she asked looking him in the eyes.

"Oh my pet, how could I? You've already proven to be so entertaining for me."

"Is that a yes?"  
Joker leaned over and kissed her.

He then reached over the side of the bed, pulled out a rose and a big heart shaped box of chocolates, and handed them to her.

"Happy Valentine's Day Harley."

In that moment, everything made sense. Everything was real, and Harley for once felt truly happy.


End file.
